The Truth About Geico

Solomon

The most irritating thing that comes to mind when someone mentions Geico Insurance isn’t the über-annoying TV advertisements (although I swear if I ever see that reptile while I’m out driving around? SPLAT!).

It’s the vivid memory of being dropped by them when we were policyholders.

Yup. As I recall, we’d had our auto policy for several years, had never filed a claim, and had never been late in paying a  premium. What you might think of as “ideal customers.”

Well … less than a month before our auto policy expired, my wife and I got this curt but polite letter stating that Geico was choosing not to renew our policy, that they no longer wished to do business with us, and they thanked us for our patronage and ended our relationship!

Can you believe that?! I’m still not sure that was even legal for them to drop us like that!

We were furious. Enraged. And suddenly we found ourselves scrambling to buy another auto policy from another company.

We came to realize that Geico’s actuarial tables probably predicted that my wife and I were “due” for a claim – given the year and make and model of our car (a wonderful 1982 Honda Accord hatchback named “George”), our ages, our spotless driving records, our ZIP codes, and who knows what other data, Geico calculated that we were statistically likely to have a mishap of some sort in the near future. So they dropped us before anything happened. So long. Hasta la vista, Baby.

Fine. We moved on. Got over it. Mostly.

But one of the most annoying things about this learning experience? We still get Geico junk mail asking us to buy insurance from them!

How stupid do they think we are?!?!

Yes, they have the GALL to send us mail asking us to call them and apply for an insurance policy!

So to anyone from Geico who might ever read this: I don’t care how many idiotic TV commercials you make with cavemen, cavewomen, reptiles with effected British or Australian accents (have you ever HEARD of anything so MORONIC!), pigs that ride ziplines, pigs that fly in airplanes, witches that fly around broom factories, or anything else, you are NEVER getting one cent of my money again!

I forgive my transgressors, but I have a long, long memory!

And honestly, could you just once make a commercial telling us something ABOUT your insurance? I don’t think I’ve EVER seen an ad wherein you actually tout your coverage! You simply refer to it as “moron car insurance” (listen carefully – it’s at the end of virtually every TV commercial … and yes, I know I’m taking it slightly out of context but it’s about the only truthful thing in their ads!), but you say nothing about speedy claim service, cheerful representatives, full and comprehensive coverage – NOTHING about the supposed value of your insurance! I’m so tired of Carl the lion wandering around the grasslands in the dark that I could hurl! What the heck does that have to do with insuring my vehicle?!??!

Okay. Calming down.

Rant complete!

Beware consumers! I strongly urge you to stay completely away from these clowns and purchase your insurance elsewhere!

‘Nuff said. You’ve been warned!